She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
