Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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