That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I need moral support for this bender
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
