yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
