I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
