He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
