didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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