my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
