I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
