My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
