ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize