OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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