so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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