also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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