it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
