his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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