I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
should my penis look like a turkey
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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