I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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