Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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