Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
As shirtless as possible
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
