You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
