I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
