a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
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Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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