I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
