i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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