I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
