I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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