I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
