So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
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I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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