Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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