I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
