my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
