I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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