I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize