I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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