listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need to align my fucking chakras
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