Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
