Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
