Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
