At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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