if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
