tell your sister to shave her snatch
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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