apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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