I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
