Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
