I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
wow bdsm is so cute
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
