don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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