I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
