Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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