Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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