Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
