Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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