guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
