i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
