Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I look better un-naked...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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