He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize