put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
