i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
smell my finger.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
