i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
