Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
