we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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