6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
