Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
